Why Don't You Love Me?

Dear Job,

I've been here for about a year now and despite the ups and downs I was really starting to feel like I know you. I still haven't gotten to the point where I was with my last job, when I would dread getting up in the morning, and I thank you for that.
I think we need to have a talk, though.

Here's the thing, I think you're tolerable, I really do. And I really like the money you get me. Folding things and watching Oprah, I mean that part is awesome. The busy work you give me makes the days fly by. And you know I love designing things for you, just for you. I especially love it when you let me go home early and I appreciate the fact that when I do go home I don't think about you until the next day and you don't call me.
It's just, this is really hard for me to say, but I feel like your smothering me.

I'm sorry! I feel like you need to hear this though. All of the advertising you make me call about, and the deadlines, and the events along with people not responding until the day before, it's really bogging me down. I am getting chest pains and starting to stress royally. You promised me you would be unstressful and I like a fool believed you. I need some "Me" time. I hope you understand. I want to continue seeing you, I really feel like we are starting to connect.

All I'm asking is that you back off a little. I don't want to be with someone who is needy and co-dependent, okay? I know you are a major chunk of my life, I spend more time with you then anyone else. I'm just asking you to be a little more pleasant and stop making me feel like I am losing my shit.

So just think about what I said. I'm counting down the days til my vacation. I know you won't blame me.

Love,
Erin